Missing my Other Half

I should be finishing the rest of my paper that's due tomorrow. But I'm so frustrated that I just need to write, or maybe cry, or maybe a combination of both. I really think that if (some) girls haven't cried in a long time they just need to let it out. I happen to be one of those people. I let everything build up and up and up and then it comes crashing down on me and I subsequently come tumbling down as well.

The next three weeks are anything short of hectic for me. I have 5 tests, 4 papers, and 3 projects due. And then Aaron comes home (yay).

I'm so ready for him to be home. I need him here. I feel so....missunderstood...by people at school. I've taken on a new roll getting married to a military man. And I don't think that I wanted to admit it before but if it was possible I became more opinionated and more outspoken being a military wife. I stand up for my husband, his fellow soldiers, other families, etc when people don't understand. I'm astounded by the ignorance of some people. I think if I have one more non military person tell me they can relate to my situation because their significant other was gone for X amount of weeks I'll scream. Or my personal favorite, "Dang, you're so young to be married. Why did you get married? It's just Iraq. He'll be back. Wow, you must miss him."

1. I might be young, but I love my husband and we were going to get married anyways. He is my rock and my foundation and maybe I did find my true love at a young age, but that's fine with me--just means I get to spend more years loving him
2. We got married because that place that you mentioned he is "just Iraq" is a war zone. People are shot at. Kinda scary, and my husband wants me to be taken care of if (HEAVEN FORBID) anything were to happen to him, and I want to carry his last name--it's one of the most important gifts he could have given me and I'm proud to be apart of his family.
3. Yes, idiot. I miss him every single day. But our relationship is founded on so much more than a longing to be with each other. I could not have imagined a better relationship with someone and I thank my parents for being great examples for what a Godly and loving marriage should look like. So yes, I miss my husband. But at the same time we are growing together while we are apart. God is looking after him and his men and we'll be together again soon.

I miss not being in Killeen. People there understand you, they're going through it too. Understand that you're having a bad day cause it's 3pm and you should have heard from your husband by now. Understand that sometimes you burst into random tears (AND don't judge you for it). I need the people in my life who understand what deployments are like. I need to be with my family. I need my dog. I need to be living my new life. I am so desperate for December to come. I just want to graduate and move on. Be done with this place and start bigger and better things. There are so many people that can help me that I haven't even met yet.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm imagining it all, or making it a bigger deal than it is. I have never been one to put up with someones crap. You mess with me, I'm not going to be your favorite person later. I have embodied my "Don't mess with an army wife" t-shirt (and wear it proudly! It's one of my favorites). It's hard for people to not know that I'm an army wife, this new roll that I have embodied. I have an ACU bag that says ARMY WIFE right on the name tape, I wear (and fiddle with when bored) Aaron's dog tags. I joke not to mess with me because they taught us how to fight in military wife training school, and to my surprise people actually believe me that there is a military wife training school--hmm maybe we should look into that???

I went up to every one of my professors and explained to them my situation, something along the lines of "my husband is in Iraq, he knows when I have class and shouldn't be calling unless it's an emergency. In the event that he does, I need to take it." Most of my professors were fine with it. Didn't have a problem (2 of them have served before). One said he understood and just to sit on the outside of the row by the door if I was expecting a call. (Now I'm not looking for special treatment, I just wanted them to be aware that if I ran out of the room unannounced, that was why) Well there was one day that Aaron was supposed to have been back from a mission 3 days prior. My teacher noted my different seat, made a comment about it and I lost it. Maybe I'm overly emotional while Aaron's gone, I don't know. But ever since then I haven't been really the same. My professor sparked this attitude in me. I'm sure it will get me into trouble with people if it hasn't already. But now I'm just not going to put up with people talking down to me, etc. I've been a strong and outspoken person for a while--ask my father, I get it from him :)--

I just need my other half back home, it's totally cheesy but he really does "complete me." I need to be around people who understand. I long for that day.....

Words could not express....

how proud I am to be a member of the Norman Community. It's great to see a community come together to support our troops, even the fallen heroes. You hear about it all the time, but to actually be able to see it and know where they were is a great feeling.

http://oudaily.com/news/2008/oct/05/veterans-honor-norman-soldier-killed-iraq-helicopt/

Though I was unable to attend, I did recognize a lot of familiar faces as I flipped through the pictures online--including several of Aaron's ROTC friends and cadre. I have a tremendous amount of respect for members of the Patriot Guard and think what they are doing is amazing.

Just thought I'd share--
God Bless